Graveyard Shift

Well that was just silly. But, all in all, kinda fun.
Sometimes I just do silly things.

After yet another fruitless (pun intended) day of
scouring the internet for love or, better yet, a quick fling with someone
I'm not even very attracted to, I was ready for bed.
At, oh... 12 AM. Then HE contacted me. Cute, younger,
intriguing face, smooth bod, nice smile.... AND he wanted me to come over!
(Maybe. I'm never sure whether I actually invite myself into these situations.)
We negotiated. I thought it was going to be an overnight LTR. He just wanted sex.
Fine. Hey, he only lives ten blocks away! And I have access to a bicycle!!!
The Pabst Blue Ribbon had worn off and I was quickly getting my second wind.
After at least three/four other ne'er do-wells had petered out (again, pun...)
I was ready for action. Threw my shoes on, got a phone number and grabbed the
garage door opener on my way out. I had a plan!!!

Then I got lost. I hadn't taken the time to get directions from mapquest.
Not that it would have mattered. I've been through this sort of thing before.
Distance/inconvenience/physical exertion - they all add to the thrill.
More often than not, the actual sex is beside the point. I raced off into
the night. It was not - as he had claimed - just "a couple of blocks" south.
In fact, I was so sure I was headed the wrong direction I pulled a U-turn
and asked some friendly college boys where Pacific was. The other way.
About twelve blocks. Down hills, up hills, (Omaha is hilly) riding sans helmet,
reflective clothing or LIGHTS, I changed my course yet again. Being smart, clearly,
doesn't enter into compulsive sexual pursuits. Oh, come on: I was clever enough
to ask directions!

The bike is a racer, thin wheels, easily blown out by potholes.
I did look both ways before running red lights. A left turn took me almost
to downtown. I passed a hospital. That might be fortuitous, I thought. Up a long hill.
Where the hell is this street??? I took a shortcut which led me three blocks
out of my way. FINALLY. Pacific. I turned right, down a hill, found the house,
no porch light on. Oh. No. This is not going to happen. I locked the bike to a
streetlamp, walked up the steps and timidly knocked on the door.
I didn't really care any more at that point. I was hardly in Top condition.
If you get my meaning. You do?

No answer. I tried the doorbell, feeling the sinking feeling that perhaps
this was the wrong house. I walked back down the steps and took out
my cel phone to call. (See? Clever!!!) There was a voicemail and text
message waiting. Uh... apparently his roommate had come home suddenly.
He was sorry for the inconvenience. I politely returned the phone call and
suggested perhaps another evening would be better. Earlier, maybe?

Long ride home. In the dark. It seemed shorter going home. I rode past my
favorite grocery store and for a moment considered stopping in for some soy milk.
It's open 24 hours. I pedaled past the cemetery, nodded at the graves and murmured,
"Wait for me. I'll be there."

I had the remote control in hand as I turned into the driveway and coasted into the
garage as the door opened. Very Bat-cave.

Bedtime.